Andrew: “Jonathan, how large is a dinosaur poop on average?”

"You put PUKE in the TEA?"

"Fetch, dead body!"
--Jonathan to "dead" Andrew

Jonathan: Why am I speaking with a British accent?
Alana: Because you were talking about soccer.  Except that makes no sense.

Things that happen late at night...

"It's the eye of the liger,
It's the cream of the corn,
Rising up from my bedroom to go potty..."

-Jess

"I just ate a whole bite...uuuuuugggghhhh!"

--Jonathan while eating ice cream

"Don't be so pushy, Mom!"
"Stop acting like a teenager."
"I'm not acting like one!"

--Jonathan and Mom